T+140: ONLY IN HOLLAND YOU SAY?

thank goodness, i say! and yes, you are reading correctly. this is the 'lady pi' which i strongly suspect has nothing whatsoever to do with pythagorean theorem or squares of hypotenii and is pronounced "pee" and not "pie" as it should be. i've experienced the famous squat toilets of turkey (and curiously, milan) but have mercifully spared you, gentle reader, of my experiences with these marvels of sanitation for the nations, but this absolutely must be shared! i burst out laughing when i entered the stall. well, truth be told, first i backed out and checked the sign on the door to make sure i was indeed in the women's toilets, and then i burst out laughing. this female urinal-type contraption was in the bathroom of a rather nice restaurant that saskia, greg & i went to on my last night in utrecht. i was still laughing when i came back to the table and greg immediately sent saskia back in with the camera phone to take photos so he could see exactly what it was as well. it sort of makes sense in theory but really, a couple of handles that you can hold onto while you hover above the seat really make much more sense. ok. enough potty humor.

the thursday night i arrived, greg, saskia & i went into amsterdam to a party being thrown by a friend of greg's from school at some pub or other. when we arrived at the pub, it was full of track suits and loud, thumping hip-hop and greg's friends had retired to a restaurant across the way so we headed out to find some other pubs. at this point, we were a bit parched and headed immediately towards the first guinness & kilkenny signs we saw and found ourselves in an irish pub being serenaded by two dwarves playing irish jigs. slightly surreal, but the pints were good so we had a couple before moving on to another pub and then headed back to the train station & utrecht as saskia had to get up early the following day. arrived just in time to miss the train so checked the schedule, as you do, and being past midnight on a thursday, went with the friday schedule for the train which meant platform 8 instead of platform 4 and dutifully waited the 30 minutes for the train. it's not surprising for trains to be late so we were unconcerned when it wasn't there 29 minutes later, until greg came running up the stairs and told saskia and me that we had to run to platform 4 because that's where the train was sitting. we hoofed it to the platform just in time for the train to pull away - and to hear the laughter of 4 NSB employees: 'oh, you just missed it! hahahahahah.' clearly, the dutch are a pretty hilarious lot. and perhaps the worst of it - insult to injury, if you will - was that the next train came to the platform we had been sitting at. ah well, home by 2am. poor saskia :(

turned out rich was also in amsterdam thursday night but busy with work stuff, so i met him at schipol for a couple of drinks friday afternoon before he caught his plane back to manchester. saturday night, greg, saskia & i went out and met a couple of greg's friends from school, a german called martin & and an austrian called roland at a little bar called stockholm and then went to a pretty cool club called ecko which reminded me heavily of luv affair, complete with stage. the music was 100% 21st century but quintessentially luv affair-esque. oh, those heady days. *sigh* greg had gotten quite friendly with an amusing little rosé at stockholm and the beers at ecko weren't helping. the austrian had left after stockholm and the german was patrolling the club, stalking prey from high atop the stage. quite something to see really. perhaps the most amusing thing was that at one point a girl got up on stage and cast her eye into the audience and immediately reeled in a rather tasty fish while poor martin couldn't seem to catch anything all night. we didn't stay too much longer and saskia had quite the adventure getting greg back to the barn. he suffered heavily the next day from his dalliance with the rosé, including an abrasion or two. 'i no need help walking!!' indeed.

while greg suffered through his sunday, saskia and i ventured into amsterdam to do a little shopping. i've gotten seriously tired of my wardrobe the past 4+ months, as you might imagine. i had the usual disaster trying to find jeans so resorted to the default position and bought some 501's, although they are seem to have a wider leg in europe for some reason. headed back to utrecht where greg had almost recovered and had a quiet sunday night. spent the next few days taking it easy and doing some planning before heading to brussels on thursday morning. i had been in touch with a former business colleague in brussels to get together for some drinks but unfortunately, he was called to germany so i wasn't able to see him. regardless, i prowled around brussels, ate some good food, saw some great art, and most importantly, enjoyed some great beer.

today, friday, i am onboard the thalys high speed train from brussels to paris in search of the elusive wissam eltibi. stay tuned! :)

[the thalys high speed train, btw, really is the only way to travel. well, first class is anyway. i can't comment on plebian. i've just finished my (included) lunch of cod fillet with peppercorns and spinach vinagrette, spinach farfalle, showpeas & carrots, cheese, accompanied by a celightful crisp white wine and followed by, of course, coffee & chocolate fingers. well, actually, coffee & chocolate dome with vanilla creme. but you see my point.]

T+134: CATCHING UP

disembarked the train in prague on sunday 9.10 around 8pm-ish into a very unwelcoming train station, definitely built under communist rule. as always, i was a little nervous arriving in a new city and not knowing the lay of the land, but more so here in prague because i had read quite a few reports that the area around the train station is fairly dodgy, especially after dark. i managed to navigate my way to the tram stop without incident and made it to my hotel which, although not in central prague, was easily reached by short tram ride.

spent a nice few days in prague, but really didn't do too much. some sightseeing of the usual suspects: charles bridge, prague castle, astronomical clock, etc. i did not go to any opera in vienna but i did see don giovanni in prague - at the national puppet theatre. very interesting and entertaining production. for some reason, i'm having trouble writing about prague. please do not misunderstand: prague is a fantastic city and much to commend it, not the least of which is the delicious, plentiful and cheap food and beer. i think i'm just getting medieval-city-castle-churche-ed out at this point. they are also mad for mucha here, prague's favorite son alfons mucha is everwhere and i visited the mucha museum with some incredible examples of his art nouveau poster art for la divine sara bernhardt. i also toured the prague municipal house which is home to the largest concert hall in town and was the setting for the proclomation of the independent state of czechoslovakia in 1918. it is the most prominent art nouveau building in prague and includes the mayor's hall, a stunning room designed completely by alfons mucha, right down to the beautiful tapestries around the doors. unfortunately, no photos allowed on the tour so you will just have to see it for yourself. which i do recommend highly. they are also kinda hot for some guy called franz kafka in prague. apparently he was some kinda writer or something.

saskia and greg mentioned that there is a small town nearby called kutna hora with an incredible ossuary - bone church - that sounded suitably macabre: a 15th century church erected in a cemetery which took the bones from the abolished graves and deposited them under the chapel. the half blind cistercian monk charged with the task in the 16th century took to arranging the bones - of some 40,000 people - in various sculptural forms, including a chandelier which contains all of the bones of the human body. there are organized tours to kutna hora and i had planned to take one but i found out that they only spend maybe 15 minutes at the ossuary before they herd you to the other sights in kutna hora. i looked into just going by myself on public transport, which is actually pretty easy, but by this time it was my final day in prague before taking the night train to zurich and so being a 'travel day' i was in major anxiety mode and had all kinds of nightmares that the train back from kutna hora would be delayed or if i took the bus, it would breakdown, or some other combination of horrors would conspire to make me miss the night train. so i didn't go to kutna hora. instead, i had a very relaxing day wandering through prague and got a much-needed haircut and instead of a photo of a creepy bone chandelier, you, my loyal and devoted readers, are rewarded with a photo of me and my new do by phil of prague :)

and so i caught the night train to zurich without incident and wound up having a few drinks and chatting with the conductor until about 2am so was even more tired than i usually am after a night on the train. i had thought that i would spend a few hours wandering around zurich before heading to luzern but it was raining so i just pressed on and wound up spending the night in jail. well, former jail, actually. that i had reserved. the former lowengraben jail in luzern is now a boutique hotel and for 69CHF you too can spend the night in a cell. no phone. no tv. no internet. i was unusually grumpy from lack of sleep so was quite peeved when the guy at the front desk told me i wouldn't be able to check in until 3pm, especially since i had already emailed them that i would be arriving early and requested an early check-in which they said wouldn't be a problem, provided my room was ready. this guy didn't even ask my name to check if my room was ready. anyway, i was hungry so i went for a rather expensive lunch and had a wander before coming back around noon and was finally able to check in (but not before having to summon the manager) and pass out.

luzern is a pretty sleepy swiss town and not much to do except spend a night in jail so hopped on the train early in the morning and headed for my real swiss destination, the tiny alpine village of gimmelwald. enroute, i met janna, leif and eric from spokane (formerly from bend of all places!) who were also going to mountain hostel and hiked up to muerren with them to get groceries and a bite to eat - as well as a couple of well-needed beverages. weather was perfect but unfortunately, did not last and the next two days were cold, grey and fraught with some mild cabin fever.
after two days of grey weather, the sun finally showed itself for most of the day so everyone was able to break free of the hostel confines to enjoy the fresh air and mountain trails. i headed out with a val & steve, a brother & sister from philly, to check out main street gimmelwald. main street didn't take long and we soon found ourselves enroute to nearby muerren so steve & val could get some groceries and a bite to eat. steve was pretty bagged so headed back to the hostel with the groceries while val and i ran into another girl from the hostel, alison, and decided to take the 5km circle hike to winteregg and back. not too strenuous which suited me - and my non-terrain-suitable footwear - just fine. that night, a blues jam session broke out with a young kid from australia on guitar and a pensioner from white rock on piano. fantastic stuff! the house was full, not only with hostel patrons but also people staying at nearby b&b's and the 'sleep in the straw' authentic barn up the road.

wednesday morning, my last day in gimmelwald, dawned without a cloud in the sky. enfin!! the perfect weather to head up to schilthorn and partake of the views from piz gloria, aka blofeld's secret lair in my favorite james bond film 'on her majesty's secret service.' joy! janna and i went up, enjoyed some hot chocolates and watched the alps go by from the revolving restaurant. the rainy weather of the previous days had deposited some snow and after some mixed weather the day before, it was a little icy and still quite cold and we had inadequate footwear so we headed back down after seeing the james bond display. a few clips of the movie but nothing special. there was also a panorama film of the alps which was quite stunning, but the james bond stuff was weak at best. we decided to stop at the next station down the mountain, birg, and were treated to having the station all to ourselves without any snow and some pretty warm sun. i lay like on a bench and soaked it up like a little cat. meow!! :)

took our time getting back down to gimmelwald where there was more laying about in the sunshine before i reluctantly left gimmelwald and the very friendly mountain hostel wednesday afternoon and headed for interlaken to catch the train to basel and connect with the overnight train to utrecht. i was concerned with the 8-minute connection window at basel; however, the chap at the ticket window assured me that as they were connecting trains, it would wait at basel if my train was late. as promised, i made it on time to basel and was safe in my bed in no time. my two other roommates, had gotten out earlier at german stations so i had the place to myself and awaited my breakfast. the conductor informed me that we were stuck at the station waiting for another locomotive to take us from the german border town into holland. and unfortunately, there would be no coffee or breakfast as promised because without the locomotive, there was also no power. alore!! as they say in italy. after trying so hard to get to germany from switzerland and not being able to find anywhere to stay, all of a suddden, i found myself unable to leave. oh well, i was able to move into a nicer compartment to wait it out. eventually, some breakfast bars were provided and at last, we were herded off the train and onto another intercity because we would not, in fact, be getting the locomotive promised. the train was already fairly full but i managed to find a seat and made it to utrecht to see saskia & greg again and enjoy some more cakes!!

T+123: 4 MONTHS TODAY :)

greetings from beautiful prague! i arrived here sunday evening from vienna where i spent 3 days. i arrived early wednesday morning on the overnight train from venice and was thankfully able to check in early to my fairly swish apartment, right in the thick of downtown vienna and right across from the sacher hotel, home of the famous torte and former hq of british intelligence in postwar vienna. sleeping on trains is not as restful as one might think, even if you do have a compartment all to yourself, so i had a wee rest before going out in the afternoon to tour the city. i also had a quick peek at viennese tv and what do you think the first music video i saw was? anyone? yes sammy, you get the gold star. der kommissar by late great austrian rock star falco. alles klar, herr kommissar? :)

the meat of the city of vienna (or wien) is really concentrated within and around the ringstrasse, which is the circular road constructed on the site of the former city walls. around the end of the 19th century, the emperor franz joseph I decreed that some outlying districts be incorporated into the city of vienna which meant the walls created an impediment to traffic, so he decreed that they be demolished and the ringstrasse boulevard built in their place.

just inside the ringstrasse at albetinaplatz is the monument against war and fascism. on first glance, it looks like some sculptures in the plaza and of course, they remind us of the horrors that took place in the war and to remember all the victims; however, the most powerful thing about albertinaplatz, i thought, is that this plaza is in fact a mass grave. during wwII, people would flee to the cellars during air raids. the house at albertinaplatz, a private dwelling, was hit directly and the 300 or so people hiding in its cellars were trapped as the bomb also destroyed the connecting tunnels which normally would have allowed them to escape through another building connected underground. there was neither the manpower nor the machinery to rescue them so they had to be left there, many presumably still alive. and perhaps the worst thing about it is to think that virtually the same thing still happens to this day.

there's really no way to segue from that sobering thought so i'll just throw the completely warped and gaudi-esque hundertwasserhaus in here. it's an incredible block of council housing that was transformed by austrian artist friedensreich hundertwasser in (obviously) the 1970's and is based on the philosophy that "the straight line is godless." it's a complete riot of colour and texture that reeks heavily of powerful drug use during conception and most likely all through the pregnancy as well. residents were apparently quite surprised and none too happy when hordes of tourists began knocking on their doors so he also created a shopping arcade across the way. there is also another conversion called kunsthauswien which also houses a permanent gallery devoted to hundertwasser live & works as well as a cafe serving very tasty fare.

i discovered a very cool tour that i put into my calendar for friday which appealed greatly to the (albeit minor) film geek in me: vienna in the footsteps of the third man. i hadn't seen or even thought about this movie in years and although i remembered it was an excellent film with orson welles, some (literally) shady characters and a ferris wheel, i had to struggle to recall anything else. i had forgotten completely about the soundtrack until rich reminded me: all zither, all the time!! the tour is fantastic. the guide, christopher timmerman, comes from a family obsessed with the film, so much so that his mother (a professor) has even written a rather large tome on the subject and devised the tour, complete with live zither performance in a viennese cellar. joy! :) of course, there was no venturing into the depths of the sewers because these were a complete british sound set fabrication. the actual sewers of vienna are barely 5' high and 3' wide and not the maze-like caverns seen in the film. friday night's big plans? the 10:45pm showing of the third man. and for anyone reading this who hasn't seen it, i suggest you do. it's been voted the best british film of the 20th century. 'nuff said.

i also ventured into the viennese royal treasury which had a lot of what you might expect: crowns, sceptres, royal vestments and the like. it also containes two choice items that made me happy i spent €8 getting in.

the first is a huge shallow bowl made of translucent brown agate reputed for centuries to be THE holy grail. agate is, i was surprised to learn, harder than steel; therefore, this bowl is a marvel if only for the fact that it was carved around the 4th century from a single stone and is the largest carved stone bowl in the world. there is also an inscription of the name of christ in greek letters that is neither engraved nor painted but is apparently in the natural veining. it is not visible to the naked eye, but there is a nearby photograph which shows it. because of this, the sons of ferdinand I decreed in the 16th century that it (along with a unicorn horn, actually a narwhal tusk) should be inalienable heirlooms of the house of habsburg. i didn't know about this before i went in and had only gone over because it is a truly beautiful and surprisingly simple thing amidst the gaudy "treasure" pieces. the form as well is almost art nouveau which makes the fact that it was created in the 4th century also quite surprising.

the other is the largest cut emerald in the world, a whopping 2,680 carats. the gem came from colombia and was in the possession of the habsburgs for many years before ferdinand II commissioned a gem cutter to cut the stone in 1641. obviously, this guy had an impossible job before him and he took 2 years doing it but was ultimately successful. in order not to lose too many carats, he used the material excavated from the vessel to form the lid and followed the natural, irregular shape of the stone engraving leaves into the sides. even so, many carats were still lost in the cutting. the finished object is larger than my fist.

after the treasury, i headed out to the heldenplatz and volksgarten park area behind the hofburg and came upon a big fall festival full of beer, schnitzel and music. and yes ladies, i know it is difficult to see but trust me: those are lederhosen and he is holding a whip. i love austria!

i had gone to the train station before my third man tour to get my ticket to prague. i've got a eurail pass but czech republic is not included so i asked if there was perhaps a discount because i had the pass, as is sometimes the case. the ticket seller said not so i said no problem, just sell me a one-way ticket from vienna to prague. what he gave me was a ticket from breclav, the czech town at the austrian border, to prague and said i should use my pass to the border. i couldn't make this guy understand that i would rather pay €16 more for a ticket from vienna to prague rather than "spend" a day of my pass and as i had to get to the tour, i decided to leave it and show up early to sort it out the day of departure. it's a good thing i showed up early to sort that out because what i didn't realize is that the train to prague left from a different station as well!! luckily, i had given myself lots of margin for error as i have discovered that i am quite obsessive on "travel" day, always checking my ticket to make sure that i have the right day, haven't mixed up the time, etc and would much prefer to be bored at the station to sweating it out enroute with only minutes to spare - which i wound up doing anyway!! but here i am, safe and sound in sunny prague :)

ps to steve: the book recommended by audrey niffenegger is 'ursula, under' - not to be confused with ursula andress who, as you know, is another kettle of fish altogether.

LA DOLCE VITA: LAGO MAGGIORE & VENEZIA

caught the train from florence to milano without incident and went back to casa di spigna to meet paolo and go on to his house in cerro on lake maggiore. paolo wasn't home from work yet and as i hadn't yet been able to have my ear looked at, his wife alessandra very kindly drove me to pronto soccours (first aid/ emergency) at a nearby hospital and waited with me until a doctor could see me. typically, it took about an hour before i finally saw someone and it would have been longer too if alessandra hadn't managed to somehow jump my case ahead in the queue. turns out, it's not an infection but i have somehow managed to catch a cold in my ear so have to take an anti-inflammatory & nasal spray for it and hopefully it will clear up in a few days. now, in vancouver - and yes toto, i do know i'm not in vancouver anymore - the doctor would have written the prescription right then & there and we would have been on our way; unfortunately in italy, the doctor types it all in the computer and my file has to go somewhere else to get a signature or something and thus involves further waiting. in fact, it took another hour and again, would likely have taken longer if alessandra hadn't managed to speak to someone and get them to print it off the computer! at last, we were on the scooter back to the house and onto cerro in no time.

unfortunately, we arrived in the dark so i wasn't able to see anything; however, i awoke saturday morning to an incredible view of lake maggiore from my room. i was also treated to meet paolo's princess, the lovely caterina who has been spending the summer on the lake. later that day, alessandra arrived with giovanni and vittorio & anna also came up for the day so we had a very pleasant afternoon lazing around poolside before vito & anna had to go back to milano.

sunday, alessandra drove me to santa caterina to have a look at the monastery there, built right into the cliffs over lago maggiore. according to legend, a rich merchant was caught out in his boat on the lake during a storm. he trusted in santa caterina to deliver him and promised to do penance if he survived, which he did and as penance lived as a hermit at the site of the monastery which was built some years later.

from there, i hopped a lake boat and toured the borromeo islands: isola bella, isola superiore & isola madre. the islands have been in the borromeo family since the 12th century and contain stunning palaces and gardens, although each island is quite individual. isola bella, named for isabella, countess of boromeo was originally a mostly barren rock but was made into a garden paradise by importing vast quantities of soil to make a formal garden to complement the ornate palace. isola superiore (aka isole pescatori) is the only inhabited island and is home to fishermen, hence the name "pescatori". finally, isola madre (my favorite) also houses a grand palace and gardens, but is far less formal than isola bella and, imho, more relaxing and welcoming. unfortunately, my camera battery died a rather sudden death as i arrived so no photos :(

sunday night, we returned to milano and i spent monday wandering around a little more before departing for venice and the film festival. thank goodness for dark sunglasses because as soon as i arrived, it was paparazzi central - "what really did happen at lago como?" they all wanted to know - NOT!! i was, in fact, embarassingly unapproached on that front. not mistaken for scarlett johanssen. at all. not even once! is it really so much to ask, she implored?

arrived in the dark and although i had printed off the directions to my b&b from the internet, i realized upon arrival that they were shockingly poor so called them for clarification. "i'll meet you at the rialto bridge" came the reply and thank goodness for that i realized in short order as we wound through the tiny streets and over the bridges to the unmarked (aside from the address) residenze del doge. it is a (an? i'm never really sure which article to use in front of a(n) "h") historical building quite central to most sights in venice, but certainly not at all easy to find without a very accurate map or a guide. as we wandered through the narrow alleys and over the countless bridges, i was struck suddenly with the thought that i should really be reading daphne dumaurier's "don't look now" which is set in venice, if i remember correctly. or watching the italian job on dvd on my computer.

[for the record, i am reading "the historian" by alex kostova - another recommendation by steven. he is my new book guru! btw steve, i'm finished it now so need another selection pronto ...]

woke early tuesday morning to a delicious breakfast of pastries, juice and coffee and headed off to get lost in the city. the great thing about getting lost in venice is that it's an island so there really isn't too much trouble you can get into or too far you can really stray. the day had dawned with a damp mist covering the city which gave a spooky but atmospheric outlook over the canal from my window; however, my hostess assured me it would be gone by 10-ish and she was true to her word. until then, i wandered vaguely through the mists happening upon various sights rather than actively seeking them out.

once i had a reasonably good measure of the city, i boarded a vaporetto, one of the water buses which ply the grand canal (literally "little steamer" referring to the original vessels which were steam powered). as the rest of the tourists sardined their way into the open-air sections, i settled myself into a window seat next to a signora who, as i opened my tourist map to get my bearings, chatted away to me explaining all of the sights and areas of the city - tutti italiano, of course. my vague knowledge of italian extends about as far as lasagne, ciao and grazie, but i believe she gave me a complete history of venice as well as advising me which sights are not to be missed and which ones not to bother with. i said "buongiorno i grazie mille signora" as i got off at galleri accademia, one of the essential sights, and took a fascinating tour through venetian art from the medieval byzantine period through the renaissance to the baroque and later.

had a quick - but incredibly tasty - lunch at a pub near the accademia and then wandered some more through the now hot & sticky venice before taking a guided tour (in english this time!) through the grand canal in one of the water taxis. normally, 90 minutes in a venetian taxi would be more than a gondola ride (which are prohibitively expensive) but as part of a guided tour of 8 people and including a bellini or two, i was under the impression that it was reasonable. i certainly learned a lot and i also asked the guide about lido, where the film festival was taking place. turned out that she lives on lido and she said that it really isn't that expensive and it has a great beach and definitely recommended that i go over to catch the sunset and have dinner, so i did. i caught the special lido vaporetto that they have running to the casino during the film festival and wound up in the middle of black tie, spotlights and security. had a quick gawk but didn't see much and headed to the "real people" part of the island for something to eat. had a very tasty lasagne, a few glasses of chianti and a tasty tiramisu at a surprisingly reasonable price before heading for the barn.

my train to vienna didn't leave until almost 9pm on wednesday so i still had all day to see more sights. i headed to the doge's palace to get tix for the "secrets of the doge's palace" tour which takes you thru rooms not normally open to the public, including casanova's prison cells. tour didn't start until 12:25 so got my ticket and headed to see the peggy guggenheim collection which has some truly incredible modern art from the likes of pollock (of whom she is credited with discovering), dali and picasso and made for a refreshing change from all the classic, traditional religious-themed paintings and portraits of nobles that, while certainly beautiful and not without merit, positively overflow from the many european galleries. the building itself is also very interesting as it is her former residence in venice (peggy died in 1979) and the villa has its own history. the palazzo venier dei leoni, as it is called, dates back to 1748 and is an unfinished palace. the original plan called for a great palace; however, legend (aka gossip) has it that the rich and powerful corner family across the canal blocked the completion as it would have been a grander palace than their own. after spending much time, effort and money to try to complete the palace, the owner finally gave up but to spite the corner family, it is said that he kept a couple of lions (leoni) in the front yard which faced the corner villa.

back to the doge's palace to check out the secret rooms. the tour was great and i especially like being able to see a place without having to compete with a whole bunch of large tour groups which is usually the case; however, the most interesting thing about the tour was the guide. i don't know if this description will do her justice but the best way that i can think of describing her is to picture dieter from sprockets. now picture him as italian. and now as a middle-aged woman. got it? a middle-aged, italian, female dieter. now add just a dash of the costume designer character from 'the incredibles' - including her hair but not the glasses, although i do rather suspect that guide wears contacts and has a similar pair of glasses at home. i wish i had a picture of her but she forbade cameras on the tour and believe me, you did not dare step out of line with this woman!!

had a quick trip after to the island of murano to have a look at some glass but unbelievably, the prices there for murano glass were higher than anywhere else in italy, including elsewhere in venice. but it was still nice to look in the shops, etc. and then off to the train where once again, i had a nice sleeper compartment all to myself :)